A Cornucopia of Dumb Baseball Questions


As writers, we have to realize when we make mistakes. That was one of the lessons in Mark’s J-Blog School. In my last post, I posted a MLBlog definition that you guys all helped me with. Even though it was a great definition, I think we were just defining the fan blogs that we read. Julia and Bigpapi72 recommended that I send it to Mark, and I did. It was within his response that I realized our mistake. “MLBlogs are whatever people want them to be… Do not try and define the indefinable”. 

The thing is, we weren’t looking outside our realm of fan blogs. We forgot about Alyssa Milano’s blog, we forgot about the baseball cleat advertisements that keep beating us out on the rankings list (I feel your pain COB), and so many more! Anyway, Jen was partially right in attempting to define MLBlogs as a community. At least there seems to be “one constant” (there are endless ways to use this pun) throughout any type of blog on here: baseball!
stupid question.jpg
I feel like this week I’ve been bombarded with stupid baseball questions. You guys will be appalled when you read some of the questions I heard this week. To these people’s credit, they do not know anything about baseball, but still… 
I was in my history class talking about the MLB Network and how I have the Red Sox 2007 post season run on DVD and how I’m always watching it when I hear the question:
Haven’t you seen these games already though?
Me: Well, yes but..
[We’ll use the alias Bob]: So what’s the point in watching them again if you already know what’s going to happen
Me: Well, first off I haven’t memorized the score so I don’t know EXACTLY what’s going to happen. And I can focus on certain players. I can see the look in JD Drew’s eyes when he’s about to slam a 3-1 pitch with two outs in the bottom of the first into dead center field. Something in his eyes that is different from the rest of the season.
Bob: Okay, okay… So on this MLB Network do they show the Bill Buckner play
Me: *shudders*. Yes, they play it quite often actually. Did you know that Dwight Evans has never watched the replays of that play? 
Bob: Wow. [This was actually a sincere wow, and yes, I explained to him who Dewey is].
Then, in my Life Skills class, we’re learning about setting goals, and we get this handout, and on the top of the sheet it says: Yogi Berra. Sure he played for the Yankees, but still, it’s baseball! We’ll use the alias Steve for this one.
Steve: Wait, who’s Yogi Bera?
Me: *slaps hand to forehead*. Steve– Yogi Berra played for the Yankees in the 1950’s. He caught Don Larsen’s perfect Game 5 of the 1956 World [I’m cut off]
Steve: OH! Is this where Yogi Bear came from? This sounds like something he would say
Me: NO! Yogi Bear and Yogi BerrA are two totally different people! 
Finally, today in math, my math teacher was telling me how he has been watching Ken Burns’ baseball series on the MLB Network. Bob once again asks why I’m watching baseball when it’s not even baseball season. 
Aside from these appalling baseball crimes, Jonathan Papelbon signed a one year, $6.25 million dollar deal! He is now the richest, first-year arbitration player ever. Papelbon brings more than just his pitching stats to the table. 
Jonathan Papelbon 3.jpg
He has this ridiculously intimidating stare. He takes a deep breath, and then faces Varitek, and narrows his eyes and puts his mouth in an ‘O’ shape. He’ll either nod or shake-off pitches. Then, he hurls the ball 90 something mph and blows it right by some of the best hitters in baseball! 
Then there’s the dancing. After winning Game 7 of the 2007 ALCS, Jonathan Papelbon came out in his boxers and did this… Irish step dance to ‘Shipping Up to Boston’ by the Dropkick Murphys. 
He is also part of the notorious Bullpen Band (called the Black Pearl right?). He has an unparalleled intensity on the field, but is a humorous guy to hang around with in the clubhouse. 
Papelbon and Varitek.jpeg
Papelbon also had some very nice words for the only catcher he has ever known. His captain, the one and only Jason Varitek. 
There’s certain players in Major League baseball . . . that you take a gamble on, whether it’s age or whether it’s money… Varitek is, no question about it, in that category. Whether it’s a money issue or whether it’s an age issue, there’s no question in my mind whatsoever. You make that gamble with a person like that. It’s that simple to me.”

So, it’s not just me, and JULIA and BIG PAPI who are willing Varitek to come back, he means A LOT to his players as well. 

I had an RSBS moment today! During my history quiz, on the bonus question (which I honestly cannot remember), among the choices were:
b. Jeffery
c. Allen
Too bad I was the only one LOLing at this. 



  1. Elizabeth D.

    Julia: I went through this whole choosing process in which I spelled Jason Varitek’s name out, and he told me to pick ‘b’, so I did. Hopefully I got it right! And thank you!! Number four again, that’s great!!

    Diamondback: Life Skills class is a really awkward class that attempts to teach you about drugs and alcohol among other things as you can imagine. The ‘Red State Blue State’ moment was simply seeing Jeff and Allen’s names right next to each other!


  2. mlbmark

    Great post! This is funny. I was walking through our MLB.com lobby on my way to the elevator at lunch, and our main TV there was showing a recent playoff game…whatever we had on the site. I froze and watched it…just because it was actual baseball! I didn’t care what game or era. I just wanted to see a ball hit and a fielder try to catch it. You tell ’em, Elizabeth!


  3. Elizabeth D.

    Mark: Thanks!! Anything in the offseason goes for me for baseball. I don’t care if it’s watching the Yankees win the World Series (even though I don’t like it). I have to watch it, it’s an addiction, the best type anyone can have!


  4. levelboss

    Elizabeth, for someone who’s only 15 you write with great maturity, thoughtfulness, intelligence, an excellent understanding of the game, and a true respect for its history..
    i’ve been impressed for a while 🙂

  5. AJRoxMyWhiteSox

    Yay for using a big word in your title! 🙂 I’m always appalled at how people ask stupid questions. Whether about baseball or anything else. Sometimes I just wanna hit people when they ask me stupid questions, especially when they’re rude (like “Are those real?” I get that all the time! How rude can a person be?!). Who doesn’t know Yogi?! I still can’t get over this one! Congrats on #13, by the way!

  6. jimmy27nyy

    Hey, Elizabeth …

    Yogi Berra once said, “we can learn a lot by just observing” !!! … Well, I guess you learned a lot about your classmates [yesterday] by just observing their actions in class, and listening to their questions and responses !!! … “Congratulations” on continuing to move up the “Leader’s List” to #13 … A #1 ranking for “The Future Blog of the Red Sox” is clearly in sight !!! … Have a great day !!! … Jimmy [27NYY], “BY&L” http://baseballtheyankeesandlife.mlblogs.com/

  7. Elizabeth D.

    Levelboss: Thank you so much! I hope to continue impressing 🙂

    Kathy: Thank you! And thank god we have mlb.tv to help us in the offseason

    Jen: Thanks, and congrats on number 20! Stupid and rude questions are appalling, thank god we’re better than that! LOL

    Hyun Young: Thanks!! Papelbon has a “cornucopia” of funny pics!

    Jimmy: Thanks! Too bad those observations were astonishing in a very bad way. I look forward to your ranking entry as well!


  8. Kaybee

    I love Paplebon! Not just because of his amazing sucess on the field, but also how hilarious he is!! The stuff he does is so funny! And I hope you guys can get Tek locked up soon too! Baseball…I can almost taste it!!

  9. rosehof14

    Good Post! The good news is that the new top 100 doesn’t have any ad’s filling up vital spots. The bad news is that I still didn’t make it! WHERE’S THE JUSTICE!!!! Eh, I will push on, you are right blogging is blogging and there really isn’t anything else we can says about that.


  10. Elizabeth D.

    Kaybee: I’m glad Papelbon brings so much to the table. He seems like he’d be a really funny guy to hang around with!

    COB: We’ll get you up there soon!!


  11. redstatebluestate

    Excellent post, Elizabeth. I think we have created quite the community here at MLBlogs within the last year. Glad you’re a part of it and I’m glad you bleed baseball like the rest of us, ‘cuz in the end, that’s what it’s all about.
    PS, That sounds like an awesome quiz. You must’ve aced it!

  12. Elizabeth D.

    Bob: No problem for the shout out, you deserve it! Number eight?? That’s absolutely incredible! Congratulations!!

    Jeff: Thanks, that means a lot. I don’t know how I survived without this community before.

    Diamondback: LOL, there are some people that really could right?


  13. Erin Kathleen

    Great post! It’s not so much that non-baseball fans are dumb, they’re just misguided. We must feel very sorry for those poor people. Also, you are perfectly justified in watching great games over and over again. They always have a happy ending, and they’re much better than chick flicks! Besides, what else is there to watch during the offseason?

    What’s the MLB Network? Dish Network doesn’t carry it so I’ve never seen it. Which is probably a good thing, since I would never leave the house again.

    P. S. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog:)

  14. Elizabeth D.

    They are better than chick flicks! I’d much rather watch old baseball games than chick flicks lol! We’ve got to help out those misguided non-baseball fans!


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